repent for the kingdom of heaven is near

I have been reading the book 'Did I kiss marriage goodbye?' by Carolyn McCulley. This isn't a review (so not within my capabilities) but something from this book which has got me thinking. Although I will say quickly that I've found this book valuable overall (the posts on Equip have been helpful); McCulley encourages readers to pray to be a good wife and it seems a good idea in theory to prepare yourself for a husband but what if I don't get married (because not everyone does) - all that she discusses is valuable as a woman of God, regardless of my marital status so I'm not sure about this idea of seemingly focusing on making myself a better woman so I make a better wife versus growing in godliness as a woman period.

There have been many sins I have been convicted of from reading this book but the one that has most stood out for me (and I wish I could find it but haven't been able to) was when McCulley pointed out that as a single woman it is easy to not be accountable for my sins. It's easier to keep them hidden, to not acknowledge them, to not confess them and to not be accountable for them.

A week after reading that, the sermon at Church this week was on Matthew 3:1-12. I thought Tim did a brilliant job teaching us from this passage, you can find his talk here.

1In those days John the Baptist came, preaching in the Desert of Judea 2and saying, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near." 3This is he who was spoken of through the prophet Isaiah:
"A voice of one calling in the desert,
'Prepare the way for the Lord,
make straight paths for him.' "[a]

4John's clothes were made of camel's hair, and he had a leather belt around his waist. His food was locusts and wild honey. 5People went out to him from Jerusalem and all Judea and the whole region of the Jordan. 6Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River.

7But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? 8Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. 9And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. 10The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

11"I baptize you with[b] water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. 12His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire."

This is what spoke to me - "Produce fruit in keeping with repentance". Does my life show that I am repenting? Have I gotten so complacent that I think repenting once to God for all my sins is enough? Where is the urgency? The kingdom is near, Jesus expects me to produce fruit or I will be cut down and thrown into the fire....

There are two areas I am struggling with (of many, many things but these two have been on my mind lately) and I have never confessed my sin to God or a friend to keep me accountable. I have kept them hidden, something that I can handle on my own (pfft!) and am too ashamed too admit. But if I am serious about God, serious about His word, I will be serious about my sin and confess it and show fruit from dealing with my sin.

I've been thinking and praying about who to talk to, who to help me in keeping me accountability. I'm still not sure yet as I feel it is a big thing to do but also feel it is what all Christians should be doing.

16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:16

5This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[a] sin.

8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1John 1:5-9

We are to acknowledge our sin, confess it to God, confess it to each other, pray for each other so that God may forgive us and purify us and show his truth and grace.

I realise I am not the most eloquent or clearest writer or the most theologically correct but I wanted to share what has been on my mind recently. I pray it encourages you in some way to grow in your own relationship with God and to desire more to grow in godliness.

bad memory

I joke about my bad memory but it troubles me sometimes how easily I can forget things that I have learnt at Church, Bible Study, personal reading of the Bible, my own reflections, insights from reading other people's blogs, etc, etc. I came across this post in my blogging travels from the Pipers of their young son reciting scripture word for word because they had read this passage to him everyday leading up to Christmas. It reminded me of these two passages from Psalms (I guess I do remember some things after all...)

1 Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.

2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

4 Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.
Psalm 1
______________________________________

1 Blessed are they whose ways are blameless,
who walk according to the law of the LORD.

2 Blessed are they who keep his statutes
and seek him with all their heart.

3 They do nothing wrong;
they walk in his ways.

4 You have laid down precepts
that are to be fully obeyed.

5 Oh, that my ways were steadfast
in obeying your decrees!

6 Then I would not be put to shame
when I consider all your commands.

7 I will praise you with an upright heart
as I learn your righteous laws.

8 I will obey your decrees;
do not utterly forsake me.

9 How can a young man keep his way pure?
By living according to your word.

10 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.

11 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.

12 Praise be to you, O LORD;
teach me your decrees.

13 With my lips I recount
all the laws that come from your mouth.

14 I rejoice in following your statutes
as one rejoices in great riches.

15 I meditate on your precepts
and consider your ways.

16 I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word.
Psalm 119:1-16

What has stuck with me were the parts about delighting in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night; hiding His word in my heart so that I may not sin against Him and meditating on His law (I had to look up what precepts are!) and considering His ways. In fact all of Psalm 119 is great.

So maybe instead of laughing off my bad memory, I could be meditating on God's word everyday and it will become hidden in my heart and I can recall it when I need to, just like those 2 verses (Psalm 1:2 and Psalm 119:11,15) came to mind when considering my own knowledge of God's word - pretty cool isn't it? If a pre-schooler can remember God's word then so can I!

can I change?

There are some things that have been an ongoing struggle. Sins that I've fallen into and feel I will never get back on track. I've tried and then failed many times and I guess deep down I believe that I'm not strong, committed, disciplined or have no will power to change. And I'm right - I can't do this. Every day I fall into thinking that I can do this and ashamedly reject God in my quest for self improvement.

Lately, it has been shown to me that knowing God is designed by God as a way of guarding us from sin and guiding us in life (an idea from John Piper). And I've seen small but very real and victorious (for me) cases where that is true. I want to know God and by reading the Bible regularly and praying and reading good bible-based books, I have noticed a change. It's still difficult and it's by no means a magic pill to cure all struggles but personally I have experienced God working in me to change my sinful habits and while it's a long journey ahead I am so excited and praise God for the way He is blessing me.

I have to repeatedly learn that I can't do things in my own strength but only through God's strength and by knowing Him more is He able to guard me and guide me in my daily life.

measuring up

Foolish that it is, I know there are times when I watch someone who I admire, respect and look up to as a more mature Christian; be surprised about something they have said or done because I know it goes against scripture, whether it be anger, judging, gossiping, worrying, and then justified it thinking, well, if they do it, it must be ok. How stupid!

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23); all struggle with our sinful nature (1 Peter 2:11) and all should be following the example of Jesus and using Him as our guide to how to be living our lives (1 Corinthians 11:1, 1 Timothy 1:16). Made me laugh to think I was justifying my own sinful behaviour because another sinful person was doing it! It is helpful to be reminded by the Holy Spirit that my standard is holiness, to be holy because God is Holy (1 Peter 1:16).

don't good people go to heaven?

We looked at this passage from Luke 7 in Church this week:

36Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

40Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.

41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

43Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

48Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

49The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

50Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Verses 41-43 stood out for me: as I thought about a friend, when we were speaking of how we are all sinners and in need of salvation, would argue that someone as good as Mother Theresa would not be sent to hell. I never knew what to say to that because it doesn't seem fair. But God's judgement is just and righteous. It doesn't matter if you owe him a little or a lot - we are all in debt and have no way of repaying it, it is only through our sinless and perfect saviour Jesus' death and resurrection that our debts are paid. Praise God for that!

the divine miss em

My good friend Shell asked me to take some photos of her gorgeous girl Emily and these two are, so far, my absolute favourites. My Dad always taught me the rule that you have to take lots and lots of photos so the odds are better that you will have a few spectacular ones, which is especially true with babies!

you can change

I have been reading the book 'You Can Change: God's transforming power for our sinful behaviour and negative emotions' by Tim Chester. So far, I think the book is great after only reading three chapters. One thing that I find appealing is Chester doesn't claim to have conquered sin in his own life and is honest about his ongoing struggles with sin. It does not have a moralistic, self-righteous 'if I can do it, so can you' feel to it. Everything so far has been taken directly from God's word from who God created me to be, His plan for me, my failings and how Jesus makes that plan possible.

I have sin that I have been struggling with for years and my approach to fixing it has always been the same - a determined, resolved attitude that I will change it; I make notes, lists, goals, and plan many other schemes to change myself. Not surprisingly it never works. It is, like I said, still an ongoing struggle. Lately, I've been more and more conscious of my sin, selfishness, anger, pride, greed, envy, gossiping, forgetting God and on and on and at times it overwhelms me with how far from God's standard I am. But then I am reminded of his forgiveness, love, grace and mercy. It's real, I am humbled by it and am so grateful to God that he made it possible through Jesus for me to be made righteous and to meet his standard.

It does not, however, follow that I keep sinning in this world, fighting my sinful nature will be ongoing battle while I'm on earth, but not a reason to give in to it. Part of God's plan for me is to reflect his glory and to become more like Jesus and he's not going to leave me alone to fulfill that goal. And only just now is it clear to me that I'm not the one who can make this happen; it's like I've never truly understood the gospel or God's plan before. The problem is my heart and no amount of trying to control external things will change that. It is only through the work of God (who uses all circumstances of my life to make me more holy), Jesus (who has put to death my old self and made me a new creation, united to him) and the Holy Spirit (who gives me the desire to do what is right and oppose my old sinful desires) that my heart can be changed and therefore bear good fruit in the outworking of my life.

Praise God for the way he has used a fellow sinner to make clear to me my relationship with him, his plan for my life and how he will help me in it. It's exciting!!