repent for the kingdom of heaven is near

I have been reading the book 'Did I kiss marriage goodbye?' by Carolyn McCulley. This isn't a review (so not within my capabilities) but something from this book which has got me thinking. Although I will say quickly that I've found this book valuable overall (the posts on Equip have been helpful); McCulley encourages readers to pray to be a good wife and it seems a good idea in theory to prepare yourself for a husband but what if I don't get married (because not everyone does) - all that she discusses is valuable as a woman of God, regardless of my marital status so I'm not sure about this idea of seemingly focusing on making myself a better woman so I make a better wife versus growing in godliness as a woman period.

There have been many sins I have been convicted of from reading this book but the one that has most stood out for me (and I wish I could find it but haven't been able to) was when McCulley pointed out that as a single woman it is easy to not be accountable for my sins. It's easier to keep them hidden, to not acknowledge them, to not confess them and to not be accountable for them.

A week after reading that, the sermon at Church this week was on Matthew 3:1-12. I thought Tim did a brilliant job teaching us from this passage, you can find his talk here.

1In those days John the Baptist came, preaching in the Desert of Judea 2and saying, "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near." 3This is he who was spoken of through the prophet Isaiah:
"A voice of one calling in the desert,
'Prepare the way for the Lord,
make straight paths for him.' "[a]

4John's clothes were made of camel's hair, and he had a leather belt around his waist. His food was locusts and wild honey. 5People went out to him from Jerusalem and all Judea and the whole region of the Jordan. 6Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River.

7But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them: "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? 8Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. 9And do not think you can say to yourselves, 'We have Abraham as our father.' I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. 10The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.

11"I baptize you with[b] water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. 12His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire."

This is what spoke to me - "Produce fruit in keeping with repentance". Does my life show that I am repenting? Have I gotten so complacent that I think repenting once to God for all my sins is enough? Where is the urgency? The kingdom is near, Jesus expects me to produce fruit or I will be cut down and thrown into the fire....

There are two areas I am struggling with (of many, many things but these two have been on my mind lately) and I have never confessed my sin to God or a friend to keep me accountable. I have kept them hidden, something that I can handle on my own (pfft!) and am too ashamed too admit. But if I am serious about God, serious about His word, I will be serious about my sin and confess it and show fruit from dealing with my sin.

I've been thinking and praying about who to talk to, who to help me in keeping me accountability. I'm still not sure yet as I feel it is a big thing to do but also feel it is what all Christians should be doing.

16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:16

5This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[a] sin.

8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1John 1:5-9

We are to acknowledge our sin, confess it to God, confess it to each other, pray for each other so that God may forgive us and purify us and show his truth and grace.

I realise I am not the most eloquent or clearest writer or the most theologically correct but I wanted to share what has been on my mind recently. I pray it encourages you in some way to grow in your own relationship with God and to desire more to grow in godliness.