i think i can, i think i can

It's Wednesday morning.

Two more days left of Term 1.

Physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.

Seems nigh impossible to make it through the next 2 days.

Would coffee really help in this situation or is it all a myth?

Couldn't sleep last night.

Evaluating, thinking and planning for next term.

No plans forming for the next two days though.

God please give me strength.

I can't do this using my own.

me church

We were shown this clip last week at Church and it has really challenged me to evaluate my attitude towards Church. It really hit me tonight for some reason... the things I sub-consciously think when I'm there:

• I'm tired
• They are not easy to talk to
• They wouldn't like me
• I want to talk to my friends

Our pastor has been really encouraging us to talk to someone new each week, especially since it's the beginning of the year with lots of new University and College students starting.

I pray that I can let go of this 'me' attitude and begin to look at how I can serve others at Church.

what do kids need?

Having now taught my own class for a grand total of 8 weeks (being a teacher for 4 years before that in non-class teacher roles), chatting to parents and discussions with colleagues, it has dawned on me that I may have a bit of knowledge when it comes to raising kids and what they need, that I always assumed was obvious to everyone. I have done no research to back my observations but I'm fairly confident my experience as a teacher counts toward some credibility as an authority on the subject. I thought I would post them onto my blog as they come up in everyday life.

The latest discussion in the staffroom was around our kids not having a good general knowledge. During an excursion to the city, the kids passed a statue of Queen Victoria. One student remarked that we are not in Victoria, we are in NSW and how stupid it was. His teacher tried to explain that it was a statue of Queen Victoria and the kids retorted back that she was wrong - it's Queen Elizabeth.

Kids need to have experiences, outings and discussions with adults to get to know their world. They don't have to be major, grandiose outings; everyday life experiences are valuable too. Do you know how hard it is to explain the concept of recycling to 5 year old kids who have never engaged in a conversation with their parents about it at home? Plan trips with your kids, include them in the planning process and TALK with them about what you are doing, where you are going.

Off the top of my head here are some things you can include your kids in to broaden their experience of the world (depending on their age):

• Shopping - preparing menu for the week, quantities needed, making a shopping list, going to the shops, give them some items to collect, let them hand over money/swipe card at the register, talk about healthy food (sometimes/everyday foods), cold/fresh/hot foods...

• Recycling - why do we have separate rubbish bins, looking after our environment, what happens to the paper/glass/plastic when it gets to the recycling centre

• Planning a holiday - budget, itinerary, maps, travel method, pros and cons of going by car or by plane,

• Cooking

• Invite a family member/friend over for morning tea. Plan the event, make an invitation, help your child to prepare a performance for your guest, make tickets for the show, show them how to serve and be hospitable to a guest.

• Housework - I know it may seem more hassle than it's worth but think of the valuable lesson they are learning in looking after their belongings and taking responsibility.

• Day outings - to the zoo, aquarium, beach, rainforest, Blue Mountains, park, river, library, the city, Circular Quay, on the ferry, monorail, Powerhouse museum, art gallery, ...

If I was allowed to and had the money to I would do all of these things with my kids in my class. I long for them to see and experience everything (not to say all of them aren't).

The list could go on and on but the main point I want to stress is TALK to your kids about everything (even if it seems mundane to you) and DO things with them. Kids are so curious about the world around them, have so many questions and want to learn but need someone to show them this amazing world and explain it to them.

what was i thinking?

I love photography. Bought a second hand SLR camera from my Uncle last year. Love experimenting with it. Love getting great photos.

Now friends are asking me to be photographer at their wedding. Have done one - felt I could have done way better. Doing another in June. The more I read and ask professionals questions the more I think I should have perhaps said no. The recommendations are to get the next model up from what I have (very expensive) and practice at several weddings with a professional before even considering doing it myself.

Oh dear...

It is very tempting to buy a new camera though...

i'm back....i think

Having changed my email address a couple of months ago, I was having issues signing into my blog. The complexities of it was too much and I couldn't find the answer easily in the Help section so I gave up and got caught up in the busyness of work. Something must have being different tonight as I was ready to tackle it again and lo and behold - problem solved! Now to actually write some posts...

off switch

I like thinking.

I also like sleep.

Which is problematic because I have not yet figured out how to turn the thinking part of the brain off when it is time to sleep. Last night I ended getting out of bed to watch a DVD for 2 hours, hoping I would fall asleep on the couch. That didn't work. So went back to bed at 2:30 and must have eventually dozed off.

I think it's end of year reflectiveness that has my brain in overdrive. I also find that Sunday nights are a thought full time, thinking about the week ahead.

There are many thoughts swirling around but will just share one for now. I was wondering why I hadn't been writing on my blog more often. Here's my theory - I feel I don't have the time or the talent to write perfect final copy posts, linking ideas and trying to connect my random thoughts to where I had read that idea and then trying to find it. So here's the solution - rough draft posts. I will try not to worry about how perfectly written these posts are and just get those thoughts out there. So please forgive me if it's not a coherent, grammatically correct, brilliant piece of writing!

this is who i am

I have felt for the longest time too afraid to be myself and really let people see who I am. It stops me from joining in lots of social activities and it gives me anxiety sometimes over the social activities I do join in, it stops me from contributing to everyday conversations and at bible study, it prevents me from praying out loud.

I've been thinking, if I have trouble being myself and opening myself up to people, letting them see me (in the normal everyday) how much am I missing out on opportunities to share about Jesus? It's a big enough deal for me to admit to a group of predominantly dog people that I like cats, or in front of a bunch of intellectuals that I enjoy the Twilight series let alone talk about Jesus to non-Christians.

Vanessa Amorosi's song 'This is Who I Am' has struck a chord with me as I've become more aware and grown to accept myself as I am and to make myself vulnerable by letting others see who I am.

Well it's alright to be myself
Now I've learned to stand
Well it's OK to be just who I am
I've spent years really hating me
Longing to be friends
Now I hope that you can understand
This is who I am

I let my anxiety over my looks and my size hinder me as well. I've been enslaved to it and it prohibits me from living my life in full, enjoying friends, socialness and relationships and more importantly in serving God and bringing glory to Him. God made me the way I am, lovingly and purposefully, my body, my looks, my personality, my gifts. It's all good gifts from Him and I should be grateful for them and look to how I can use them for his glory.