Perfectionism

Sometimes I find myself so afraid of doing things wrong or being unsure of how to do something, that it is really hard to get started.

This afternoon it was programming for school. A massive and overwhelming task, especially when I have not done it before for a class. It was too much, so I kept finding other things to do apart from that. I was on the verge of panicking at the enormity of it all.

This happens to me a lot, in different situations and it's not helpful. Something needs to change.

So I had a nap, prayed, took a deep breath and made a plan of attack.

Baby steps.

One thing at a time.

In the end I figured I should just start on one thing - guided reading worksheets for the week.

I typed in the title of the book and then stared at the screen for 5 minutes. Where the heck do I start? I envy experienced teachers who can do these now without thinking. I want them to be engaging, at their level so they can achieve independently but being challenging enough to push them a bit further, to excel them, to encourage them....

Just start with something!

And then it sort of flowed. Not sure if it's groundbreaking stuff but it's a start for me.

I realise this thought process comes quite naturally or sub-consciously for many people but for me I have to talk myself through it.

Perfectionism is crippling at times.

Anyone else like that?

the civil wars 'poison & wine'

i'm a goose

I have a knack of doing and/or saying things that are beyond silly and ridiculous.
Here are 2 of my most recent goose moments:

• Stapled my finger while reloading stapler - hurt (and still hurts) a lot!
• While at Easter show looking for big, exciting and scary rides to go on - I saw one in the distance that looked amazing... only to be told by my friend that it's actually a light fixture for the grand arena...

And as I've learnt through a many a goose moments - all you can do is laugh!

long term plans

A conversation today reminded me of a dream, for lack of a better word, that has been floating around in my mind on and off for the last few years. I've entertained the idea of teaching in Africa. Can't say why Africa. Can't say why I've had that idea. I've never thought seriously about it, made plans, or acted on it. I guess knowing I'm the sort of person to need a 'security blanket' of knowing I will know at least one other person when going to a party or the fact I've never been overseas before or not feeling confident in my teaching skills as yet.

I've never really taken time to really think and pray about what plans I should be making - being purposeful in what I'm doing with my life and how I am serving Jesus. I am abundantly blessed and God has graciously given me many gifts. And I've been challenged anew today about using those blessings to build his kingdom to bring Him glory.

Knowing full well that the best laid plans can be altered by God according to His will, should not mean that no plans should be made at all. So I'm going to spend some time this week to pray about this and hope for some more definitive answers in what direction to take. It might be Africa, it could be staying at Yagoona, or God could reveal to me a new ministry option. I pray I will be listening and He will give me the courage to follow through on whatever path he sets me on.

i think i can, i think i can

It's Wednesday morning.

Two more days left of Term 1.

Physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.

Seems nigh impossible to make it through the next 2 days.

Would coffee really help in this situation or is it all a myth?

Couldn't sleep last night.

Evaluating, thinking and planning for next term.

No plans forming for the next two days though.

God please give me strength.

I can't do this using my own.

me church

We were shown this clip last week at Church and it has really challenged me to evaluate my attitude towards Church. It really hit me tonight for some reason... the things I sub-consciously think when I'm there:

• I'm tired
• They are not easy to talk to
• They wouldn't like me
• I want to talk to my friends

Our pastor has been really encouraging us to talk to someone new each week, especially since it's the beginning of the year with lots of new University and College students starting.

I pray that I can let go of this 'me' attitude and begin to look at how I can serve others at Church.

what do kids need?

Having now taught my own class for a grand total of 8 weeks (being a teacher for 4 years before that in non-class teacher roles), chatting to parents and discussions with colleagues, it has dawned on me that I may have a bit of knowledge when it comes to raising kids and what they need, that I always assumed was obvious to everyone. I have done no research to back my observations but I'm fairly confident my experience as a teacher counts toward some credibility as an authority on the subject. I thought I would post them onto my blog as they come up in everyday life.

The latest discussion in the staffroom was around our kids not having a good general knowledge. During an excursion to the city, the kids passed a statue of Queen Victoria. One student remarked that we are not in Victoria, we are in NSW and how stupid it was. His teacher tried to explain that it was a statue of Queen Victoria and the kids retorted back that she was wrong - it's Queen Elizabeth.

Kids need to have experiences, outings and discussions with adults to get to know their world. They don't have to be major, grandiose outings; everyday life experiences are valuable too. Do you know how hard it is to explain the concept of recycling to 5 year old kids who have never engaged in a conversation with their parents about it at home? Plan trips with your kids, include them in the planning process and TALK with them about what you are doing, where you are going.

Off the top of my head here are some things you can include your kids in to broaden their experience of the world (depending on their age):

• Shopping - preparing menu for the week, quantities needed, making a shopping list, going to the shops, give them some items to collect, let them hand over money/swipe card at the register, talk about healthy food (sometimes/everyday foods), cold/fresh/hot foods...

• Recycling - why do we have separate rubbish bins, looking after our environment, what happens to the paper/glass/plastic when it gets to the recycling centre

• Planning a holiday - budget, itinerary, maps, travel method, pros and cons of going by car or by plane,

• Cooking

• Invite a family member/friend over for morning tea. Plan the event, make an invitation, help your child to prepare a performance for your guest, make tickets for the show, show them how to serve and be hospitable to a guest.

• Housework - I know it may seem more hassle than it's worth but think of the valuable lesson they are learning in looking after their belongings and taking responsibility.

• Day outings - to the zoo, aquarium, beach, rainforest, Blue Mountains, park, river, library, the city, Circular Quay, on the ferry, monorail, Powerhouse museum, art gallery, ...

If I was allowed to and had the money to I would do all of these things with my kids in my class. I long for them to see and experience everything (not to say all of them aren't).

The list could go on and on but the main point I want to stress is TALK to your kids about everything (even if it seems mundane to you) and DO things with them. Kids are so curious about the world around them, have so many questions and want to learn but need someone to show them this amazing world and explain it to them.